Motivation

Solving personal problems

In my yesterday post about the first year at university I stated a lot of problem I had to face both at school and personally. In this post I’m writing further about the personal problems and how I overcame it.

Encountered problems with money

In 2013 I was doing my driving license, where my sister-in-law bought me a discount course, but it had to be done in certain time. I failed twice at theory exam of rule of the road. Due to that I wasted two months which resulted in exceeding the course deadline as for the practical driving I had to reach a certain kilometres distance to take an exam. Since I exceeded the time period I had to pay more, about 100.000Ft (384USD).

Meanwhile I had to do a jaw surgery as my lower jaw was more upfront than the upper one. My teeth wasn’t in order either. I didn’t dare to smile and people always thought I was angry. My parents told me to go to dentist to get braces but I was lazy and kept procrastinate it.

That time I watched a lot of film and kept imagining to act in the film with my favourite actors. However I realized all of the actress had pretty smile, but I didn’t have that. I was thinking if my smile wasn’t beautiful how could I act in a film with them? 😀

Therefore I decided to go to the dentist and asked what to do with my jaw. It took almost two months until they did all kind of examination and finally put a braces on my teeths. Before that 2 of my wisdom teeth had to be pulled out so my face was swollen twice. Those were the period when eating was really difficult. The braces were on me for almost one year, then I was transferred to another doctor who specialized in surgery. They introduced me to another doctor who did the surgery. When I was transferred I was already 18 which meant each time I paid a visit to doctor I had to pay. They did all kinds of examination before the surgery such as blood, blood pressure, heart rythm. They made me order another brace to use during the surgery which cost 80.000Ft (307USD), but never had to use it. The doctor who did the surgery even asked me how much surgery fee I intended to give him. I said 100.000Ft (384USD) and he accepted it.

All was money and it was hard to deal with it as that time I didn’t work yet. I even thought about giving it all up.

“I don’t need a proper jaw, it’s enough that my teeth were in order.”
“I don’t need driving license, I believe I can live without driving a car.”

That thought kept coming to my mind and I was really about to give up.

Meanwhile I applied for a dance class where the fee was 200.000Ft (740USD) for half year. And we had lesson only once a week. That time I really wanted to continue dancing and this dance class promised to offer an opportunity to become a backup dancer. Of course it never happened. I had a huge fight with my brother because of this and it determined my mood about everything around me. Everything was money, everyday was a burden. Wherever I looked I hated everything. That was the first most depressing moment in my life.

There was no mental support and I had a really negative thinking. I felt useless and thought if I disappeared from this world it might be better for everyone. Fortunately I realized by leaving I would cause even more worries for my mum and problems wouldn’t disappear by itself. Moreover I would become an irresponsible person who only know how to avoid but not how to face the obstacle. I told myself:

“If this was my mistake I have to keep living to bear the consequence.”

Keep moving forward for a happy ending

Therefore I didn’t give up. I worked more to earn money, family also gave me some. The dance class finished in the beginning of January.

My smile before and after the jaw surgery

I did the jaw surgery at the end of January after my exams and had one week to rest until the next semester. In that weak condition where I couldn’t even eat proper food I still went to do some student job. I also realized I couldn’t just simply do physical student work so I decided to do something easier but more money. Luckily my mum found me a place to teach, so I started to teach Hungarian language to 2 Vietnamese kids.

I also finished my driving license. The driving test was one day before I flew to the USA. During the driving lessons I was always scold because of this and that. Though during the test everything was fine. My teacher even said:

“It was a difficult road today, however, you handled every obstacle calmly and properly. Good job!”

I passed for the first time. Theory exam was so hard but practical was easy.

Yes, I had to pay a lot of money for these 3 things, but in the end everything turned out to be fine. I finally had a pretty smile and a driving license which was my biggest dream since childhood. As for the dance class it ended, no happiness, no sadness. But there was no continuation in it. Situation with my brother got back to the normal but I didn’t really feel like to see anyone in my family. What I was looking forward was the 3-month trip to the USA. My next post tomorrow will be about how and why I went to the USA.

“Until you don’t give up, everything can be solved and turned to positive ending.”

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