Wondering how your future will turn out? Everyone is moving forward in their life but you are still at the same place? You don’t even know if you are good at anything?
That’s how I have felt during this week. I suddenly lost direction. Worse, I didn’t even know if I was good at anything. 5 languages, about to get a master’s degree, have been teaching for 6 years, worked abroad, traveling alone… do they even mean anything?
In my last post I wrote about tracking the daily routine and form a habit that helps you to come out of quarantine with accomplishments. I also tracked mine and shared the overall result on my Facebook page. The first week was terrible. My daily routine was a whole mess and I even ended up with a cramp in my stomach.
The next week I changed and followed a routine. I felt accomplished. I felt extremely fresh, successful and I was happy. I couldn’t tell how much I appreciate this quarantine period as I finally formed a regular habit for myself. The best part I started to workout. The morning workout made me feel energized for the whole day. I got my things done and I even started to dance again.
However, when something rise up fast, it will also fall fast.
The third week I suddenly felt lost. I was aware that I’m going to finish school soon, and I will have to earn money. To be honest I’m not ready for it.
I want to set up a webdesign business but then I realize I don’t know a lot about it. I have to practice and learn more and more to master it. But I feel as if I’m out of time. In my mind I always think that I want to be successful by the age of 30. Therefore I don’t have time to study and work until the business takes off. I need money now. What can I do? Work at a Korean company? I have to practice Korean even harder. Do I have time for that? Once again, I realized I have wasted 25 years for not studying properly at school and now I only have 5 years more to learn everything to move forward.
At the same time, I see others moving ahead in their life. I see people achieved a result that I also want to have. Okay, they are around 35-40 years old with more than 6 years of hard work behind them. But if I start now, when will I achieve their level? Do I even have that much time to work hard for a significant accomplishment?
I think you can see the nonsense point in it…
I can’t compare my life with the others’
But let’s say even if I compare, those people who achieved something significant in their life, they have been grinding for their success for more than 5-6 years. They are already 35-40 when they can say they have achieved something. Not to talk about some people only start their business when they are 35-40 years old. Me, living only 25 years where do I want to be in life when at the age of 19 I still wondered who I was? Or let’s say if it took 5-6 years for other people to see the result, then I also have 5 years until 30 to build something.
The comparison has no foundation. I can’t compare the achievement of the age of 25 with the age of 40.
But what is more important. I shouldn’t compare my life with others. I should compare it with my achievements. Because all of us have a different timeline that we need to follow. We are not late, we are not early, we are exactly where we’re supposed to be.
Am I still at the same place where I was one year ago? – Please, one year ago my workout was walking from the bus station to my house.
Am I about to die out of hunger? – No, I still have the work I’m satisfied with and it pays well.
I still have my family, I still have work, I still have a roof over my head. Even if I’m still not at the point where I want to be, I’m not short of anything. If I feel I’m late then I should just start to work hard towards what I want to have.
I let myself feel the negative then stand up again
When I faced this negative feeling, I didn’t care about my routine and what I wanted to achieve by it. I used my phone the way I did before in the morning. I didn’t bother to work or study, but I just scrolled on my phone without any purpose. I didn’t even do the task I set for myself that day but rather watched a film.
I didn’t force myself either. I let myself feel negative. I wrote it out honestly in my diary. I realized the negative feeling hit the hardest when I didn’t move around. Workout became an essential part of the day. If I work out in the morning before doing my task, I feel much fresher and energized. I might still not fancy doing my other work, but at least I overthink less.
My weekly routine this week wasn’t the best one. But I’m sure about 4 things:
- Workout helps me stand up! – Make sure you do sport every day!
- I shouldn’t compare myself with the other’s life.
- I’m not late. I still have time to work hard, to invest in studying, and to start my business. This is not equal to procrastinating. But I don’t have to hurry myself to earn money as if I’m about to die.
- I can let myself feel bad so I can get bored with it and finally stand up.
If you have ever felt down or lost, I hope you also allow yourself some time off to regenerate yourself and finally stand up! Remember, you are never late. It’s just your timeline is different from others! And it’s alright! 🙂